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footprints
step by step i walk this path and live my dreams

where the emptiness never fades

Friday, December 28, 2007
i've a weak spot for mandarin songs. a love-hate relationship of sorts. highly indulgent kind of sin..which..i just keep falling prey to especially when night falls.

many a time it feels almost like an addiction. an addiction to wallow in self pity / dramatise life / simply to just release the flood gates of the day-sensitive tear ducts. Thus the addiction to keep relistening to the same old *literally old* songs abt lost love n a better life.

then again it's prob due to the festivities (both the time to be with tt absent loved one..or maybe just the post high depression) plus the lunch talk trigger..thus the temptation to just childishly sink in again.

guess the amazing part is who i naturally tear over. the distant memory from 5 years ago. almost as if everything before n after tt were so insignificant & non-exisitent. hah this fact somehow brings a warm smile amid droplets rolling off the cheeks.

ah wells..guess it's prob just the quiet of the night that's echoing tt lil corner of emptiness thus all the nostalgia n bittersweet. typing this has kinda drained tt energy to concentrate on the lyrics..which is good..cos time to turn in and be all bright n smiley again at work tom.

3 more days to the new year. can't wait to start another exciting year. this yr's been filled with lots of unexpected good fortune. hope this keeps up. for myself and for everyone ard me too. *hugs*


2:12 AM :: 0 comments ::

sabz :: permalink


what if?

Sunday, December 09, 2007
been a while since i last visited the site myself *even forgot the add for a while..thanks to babelfish*

anyways..i guess life's been good..prob a lil too good thus nt much grouses to air and the laziness to come up n share my simple happiness ;p

yeap for those whom i've nt been in touch with for a while..been working for alst 4 mths now..STILL enjoying it..despite tt bagging feeling of being underpaid relative to the banking folks..I guess it's like a trade off of sorts, esp hearing the rate of how friends are considering changing their jobs..

been so blessed with a gd boss..great company of newbies and colleagues..an an entire portfolio with endless opportunities to learn..heh it's almost too good to be true..;p *slight worry tt if things are tt gd already..the only way they can go is downhill..=s*

since it's almost the end of a p r e t t y eventful year..i guess with this semi-lag period now it's a gd time to reflect on what's happened in the past 12 mths..all the internship exp on jurong island..single-course term in sch..job hunting..travels in spain and now working life..mighty lot of things that have gone on in life this year..good thing is i'm kinda glad almost everything has turned out better than expected..with more to look forward to in the coming year..probably in all aspects apart frm the rlnship department..though i'm a lt more at peace now than before..

probably cos this year had turned out so well that i'm starting to reflect n the past decisions more..those from 2 years ago..to some even 4-5 years ago. On my choice of uni courses, to even pre-A levels period..it's amazing how life has turned out to be smething i probably don't regret..but still wonder if it could have been better if i didn't choose to drop chem..if i had been mroe blatent abt expressing myself..if i had given others a chance..

and now..similar questions seem to apply to me again..

perhaps it's just a character flaw..but being a flaw means it's probably something that should be corrected..but a large part of me don't want to..cos it feels like i'll be losing something i'm familiar to..something that defines me..or simply cos i just wanna stop growing up..stop being rational..just some weak attempt to be a stubborn child clinging on to her beliefs.

"My one regret in life, is that I not someone else." - Woody Allen

perhaps i was right to dream to be a cat with 9 lives when i was young..then again..is 9 really enough for one to really live life?

on a less depressing note..here's some pics from the company's d&d last week..heh think i'm still lost in the moment thus the low efficiency the past week ;p



of course the two super enthu smu foto whores ;p


two more fellow foto-whores in the pic *the i-look-dressed-up julius n try-to-spot-me magnus*

1:38 AM :: 0 comments ::

sabz :: permalink